How to talk to children about art?

by Kanupriya Mody, AThR

Have you ever heard the saying “Every child is an artist”? Creating is one of the most natural ways children express themselves. Long before they have language for what they’re feeling, they draw, build, and play: they make. Most young children love putting color on paper and proudly sharing what they’ve created. But at some point, many stop seeing themselves as artists.

You might even remember the exact moment you stopped too, the first time your work didn’t feel good enough, when you started comparing yourself with others, or when someone told you how you “should” do it differently. Maybe it was a well‑meaning adult saying, “That cat looks like a dog!” or “Let me show you how to draw a real tree.” Suddenly, art changed from being something fun and joyful to being something that had rules, expectations, and right answers.

When we tell a child what their art “should” be, or even try to interpret it for them, they slowly begin to believe that making art is about pleasing others instead of expressing themselves.

Art doesn’t have to look realistic or “improve” over time. It’s not about skill; it’s about expression, connection, and process. Sometimes a drawing holds a story or a feeling. Other times, it’s simply the joy of scribbling, moving color across a page, or touching clay. A scribble might represent worry… or maybe it’s just a scribble. The only person who truly knows is the child.

And that’s the key: the child decides what their art means.

When a child shares something they’ve made, they’re giving you a peek into their inner world. That is so special. Our role as adults isn’t to correct or evaluate. Rather it is to notice, stay curious, and connect.

When we say, “That’s so good!” or “I love it!” we mean well, but for the child’s it changes creativity to performance. They start wondering, What kind of art gets approval? rather than exploring what feels meaningful to them. The result? They may play it safe, copy what they think adults want.

It’s not easy (we grew up being praised for our drawings too!), but when you respond differently, the child’s confidence, curiosity, and sense of safety in self‑expression grow.

So what can you do instead?

1. Start with acknowledgment.

   “Wow, look at this! You made this and you’re showing it to me!”

   That simple recognition validates their effort and pride.

2. Ask open‑ended questions like:

   • “Can you tell me about your picture?”

   • “What materials did you use?”

   • “Does this picture have a story?”

   • “Would you like to share what this is about for you?”

3. Don’t guess what it is. If you’re unsure, avoid labeling or interpreting. Try saying, “Can you tell me about this part?” (You might be surprised, what looked like a sun to you might be a bowl of spaghetti!)

4. Ask about feelings and process.

   • “What was your favorite part to make?”

   • “How did you feel working on this part?”

   • “How do you feel when you look at it now?”

5. Encourage effort, not outcome. Instead of “That’s beautiful!”, try:

   • “You used so many colors here.”

   • “It looks like you spent a lot of time on those details.”

   • “I can see how focused you were.”

These kinds of comments celebrate their process, the concentration, emotion, and creativity they poured in. This shows you’re paying attention to their expression, not judging it. And if they don’t want to talk about what they made, that’s okay too. Just being invited to see it is an honor. You can simply say, “Thank you for showing me your artwork.” It is truly a priviledge to be let into a child's inner world.